Grab a cuppa, let's get to know each other a little better

Hello, it's lovely to meet you

I'm Carys, free spirited, always curious, and compassionate to a fault.  Lover of adventures, kindness and freedom.

I coach because I love connecting with other human beings and I passionately believe that we all deserve to live our lives in whatever ways make sense for us.

I live on a narrowboat with my partner Tommy, our 4 year old son Ted and our Jack Russell, Jim.  I love being a mum.  I mean, it's bloody hard, but my heart is so full of love it feels as though it could actually burst.  And it completely blows my mind that we created an actual person!!

These days.....

...... I focus on listening to myself and about what feels authentic and true in all areas of my life, from the kind of exercise I do and the clothes I wear to my career and the kind of mum I want to be.

I'm pretty clear now on what's important to me and what makes me feel good.  Check out my values to the right/below.  

I'm still learning how to do life differently, which brings its own challenges and it's definitely scary, but knowing that overall I'm living in harmony with what I care about brings me the inner peace I was always looking for.  

Which is a massive contrast to how I felt a few years ago!  And that's why I'm so passionate about helping others who are right where I used to be.

Or if you'd like to know a bit more about how I wound up here offering coaching services to lovely people like you, well, get comfy and read on!

I'd bumbled along with little direction in life, but quite happily nonetheless, I enjoyed 9 years in HR and recruitment, every now and then

wondering whether corporate life was really for me. Would I have chosen it had I intentionally considered my options and understood the

possibilities?  I suspected probably not, but "changing careers would be too difficult and expensive (said a little voice from somewhere

within) "and plus it'll make you look "flaky" & fickle Carys".  

But then a few things changed

Fast forward through meeting my partner, relocating, house buying, miscarrying, redundancy (whilst pregnant), having a baby, and a health scare, followed by 14 AWESOME months of being stay at home mummy, and I came out the other end a rather different person!

Being a stay at home mum and looking after my family gave me a huge sense of purpose and fulfillment like I'd never experienced before, and I don't mind saying that I LOVED not going to work!  My time was my own and for the first time in my life I felt absolutely content, and FREE! 

Problem was, I'd got a taste of living life a little differently.

I went back to employment

.....when Ted was 14 months old, but just couldn't get comfortable with not seeing him for 3 whole days a week while he was at nursery.  He cried.  I cried.  I was miserable.

Everyone said it would get easier, for me it got harder.

Let me just say, I have so much respect for families doing whatever they need to or love to do, as long as it's right for you and yours that's all that matters.  That's exactly what my work here is all about in fact!

It's just that, as I was then discovering, it wasn't right for me (which in turn made it not right for my family) and battling on regardless, which I did for some time, would almost break me.

It dauned on me then...

...having "settled down" now, I'd ticked off a few key milestones in terms of what I thought a person such as myself should be doing:

  • Establish some kind of career - yep
  • Meet someone - yes, tick
  • Buy a house - tick
  • Get a pet - tick
  • Have a baby - TICK!

So, this was it for the foreseeable future, until retirement (or worse!)?  Juggling work and family, feeling guilty, getting through, living for the weekend.  Really?!  I pushed on though of course, everyone else in this boat seemed to be doing fine.

But very soon it all caught up with me in the form of some pretty bad anxiety

I felt sad and guilty for missing out on time with Ted, and would overcompensate by putting pressure on us to have perfect family weekends.  I felt like a fake at work, terrified I'd get found out for not loving my job and wishing the hours away,  I was not winning at any area of my life!

When evening tears became a regular occurance I went to see a counsellor.  She helped me get my anxiety under control, which left me with a little clarity, a clearing in the fog.  Firstly, I simply wanted to spend more time with Ted and, secondly, I wanted to do work that had more meaning to me.  I'd resisted that truth for so long! 

I knew something had to change but I didn't know where to start and I was scared of making a big change in case that didn't make me happy either.

So, I hired a life coach

and my world began to change.  

It became clear that what I really wanted out of life, and how I was actually living my life were 2 very different pictures!  Having lost sight of - and confidence in - my own values, I'd somehow adopted other people's instead.  And it had affected every area of my life from how I spent my money to the things I said and the aspirations I thought I had.

So, I began to untangle myself and got clear on, well, me. 

I listened to myself, finally!   

Changing and showing up in the world differently isn't always easy.  I've had to do a LOT of inner work (hello self doubt), and I continue to do so every day, but my god it is so worth it!  

I am so grateful every single day to be living my life in a way that brings me joy, freedom and connection

 

That's why I'm here, doing this.  Because I want the same for you.

A few fun facts about me:

  1. One day I’d like to live in a caravan or on a boat.- update: I do live on a boat now!
    2. I value freedom - time freedom, financial freedom, inner freedom. Conformity and convention make me feel hemmed in.
    3. I need to move my body. One of the absolute best things about quitting the office job has been not sitting at a desk all day!
    4. Walking, my mind, body and soul need it
    5. I love watching squirrels, they're funny little f**kers